Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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