omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
