he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
