i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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