so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
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