Cold hands, warm shart.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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