'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Everything about him screamed your future.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
