im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
