how hairy? two words: wookie tits
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize