the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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