You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize