Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
