Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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