I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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