so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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