felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He passed out mid-signature
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
