i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
