like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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