he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
