man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
