i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
