Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
