people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
is wine microwaveable?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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