I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
