two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
