We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
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Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
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So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance