my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.