i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
