Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
