Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
