dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
