youre lurking in front of me
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
