His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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