yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
