He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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