The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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