They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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