ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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