i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
