bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
