she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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