how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
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You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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