She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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