And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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