Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
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