he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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