Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
