there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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