She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You were trust falling into bushes
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
