Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
