I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
