It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
