in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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