i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
