Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
In the future we'll all be gay
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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