apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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